After writing my last post, I was right, I got annoyed with myself.
Yes, I'm in a funk. No, it's not something I can talk myself out of...BUT I do have moments
where I can choose my attitude, where yes, I can be sad but where I can still remember and hold close to my heart ALL the ways God is good to me.
This picture keeps popping into my head as I sometimes choose to have a poopy attitude about life:
a couple weeks ago at church I sit in the front row with all my friends and as we get into a few worship songs I'm instantly annoyed by the person singing at the top of his lungs directly behind me. I turn around to get a glimpse of this off-key culprit and my eyes fall on a man, not much taller than me, his eyes closed, no arms, shouting praise with every ounce of his being.
Are you kidding me!?!?
I guarantee you this man is not ecstatic about his missing arms, I bet he's pissed...but he's praising Him nonetheless.
Am I allowed to be mad that I'm alone? That I have past hurts? That my body is broken? That my heart is tugged at from all corners of the world? YES...in fact it seems to be the appropriate response. In fact I'd be nervous for people who suffer great loss or hurt and dont feel angry or pissed...that say "It's ok, Gods gonna use this!" or "I know its in His plan!" Well yes, it probably is, but you're missing you're fucking arms! you're allowed to be furious!!!
Here's to the man at church that reminded me that I can do both simultaneously.
I can be in deep pain and sorrow and yet, maybe even because of those moments, be so aware of his beauty and grace.
I lift my arms for the man who can't...
God you are good.
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