It's been a hot sec, forgive me! The note in my phone for "blog ideas" has grown long and wide and thus an underlying discouragement has formed as I think about tackling the list. However there's a note and recent experience that blows all the others out of the water; a notion that has not only been deeply troubling for me to grasp, but that I believe could be deeply healing for many.
This last weekend I went to the governors prayer breakfast in Olympia Washington. It's something I have to gear up for because its one of those program heavy events that gives ZERO introvert time, and while all the programs and people are so valuable, it's those kind of events that often show my weakest, bitchiest aspects.
That said, I walked into the Red Lion Hotel with low expectations and a bad attitude. Things slowly shifted however as I saw faces of people and students that I deeply adore and began to realize the theme of the weekend was racial reconciliation. (for those that don't know me, or haven't read any of my other blogs...race is absolutely my favorite topic to discuss and is something that tugs hard and heavy at my heart strings).
The guest speaker for the weekend was Andrew Young, ex-mayor of Atlanta, US ambassador to the UN, and one of Martin Luther King Jr's right hand men. The timing seemed appropriate as it was the 50th anniversary of the march at Selma...a march Mr. Young was himself,a part of. He was young enough to understand the questions and give coherent responses, but he was old enough to answer in whatever form or fashion he wanted; often going off topic, sharing random stories, and teetering on that line of appropriate and inappropriate things to say in a room full of fairly conservative state leaders. (As my boss and I would say, he is "just wicked enough!") He was genuine and real but without being overly emotional. I don't know this man outside of speaking engagements but I felt as if he was being completely himself. I just wanted to hug him and never let go!
ANYWAYS, he shared amazing memories from the civil rights movement, great insight on the human condition and fun stories about Martin Luther King Jr., The thing, however that has stuck with me, almost hauntingly, was nothing that he specifically said. It was simply his presence...the illustration of his participation. It was that after years of being mistreated, beaten, thought of as 'less than' he is standing in a room of majority white people, pouring into us, the very ancestors of those that had done the beating and the mistreating.
I do not wish to ruminate and live in the past...whats been done is done. But just because we're sorry doesn't change the fact that it happened and that it was brutal and wrong. Easy for me to ask for forgiveness or tell the black culture they need to move on...I wasn't the one beaten and wronged...my family wasn't the one that was killed...my friends weren't the ones lynched and raped. and thus as he spoke about our bright futures and how he can impart wisdom to us for that journey, I wept. How do you forgive those wrongs to the point where you not only move to neutral, but to the opposite end of the spectrum...love and service?
I might not be doing a good job of articulating the depth of this idea..but it fricking BLOWS my mind. I'm having a hard time forgiving my boss over a simple miscommunication.
and yet Andrew Young was told for decades he was not human, that something was wrong with him...emotionally mislead, physically abused, spiritually tested (to the nth degree!!!) and yet he shows up to serve. Forgiveness is a powerful thing...not an easy thing, but a powerful thing.
So while all his awards and honors qualify him to speak at such an event, I believe that it is his heart, up in away, that is the more important model. A heart that wakes new every morning. A heart that doesn't let yesterday determine how much he loves himself, God or others. A heart that continues to march amidst trial and tribulation. March, march, march.
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