Wednesday, August 13, 2014

Back At It...

I’ve had this weird tension the last couple of months…do I keep my blog updated or not? There’s this weird little voice in my head telling me not to. I’ve told myself its Satan…but I think it’s actually ME (like the 5th grade fat bully version that never transpired). Whoever/whatever it is, I hear this:  You’re not a real writer, you’re no longer on a journey, no one wants to hear your thoughts/you have nothing to say.

And yet in the cool quiet of morning, sitting in my favorite green recliner at the deck of our family beach place I hear another small voice...not so small.
‘You ARE a real writer, you ARE still on a journey and people DO wanna hear what you have to say.’
Yaaaa, I convince myself. I’m a writer if I say I’m a writer!  
Published or not, read or unread, I write…which makes me a writer! 
Words hold meaning, stories hold life. I AM a writer.

And yes, I’m still on a journey. It is not in an itinerary, it does not involve cross country travel plans or exploring foreign lands. And yet I’ve been reminded as I seek out adventure that it has a mind of its own.  It doesn’t sit around and wait to be found, it’ll pack a bag and come find ya itself. Adventure sneaks up on ya that way; you weren’t lookin for it, you may not even want it and yet there you find it, waitin on your front porch. I am growing, learning, struggling, moving, EVERYDAY, its life and it most certainly IS a journey.

And YES, people do want to hear what I have to say. Well, when I say people I’m actually thinking of a particular person. My uncle Gregg. EVERY TIME I see him he asks when I will be posting again and if I won’t be then can I just send him stories via e-mail. Not only am I absolutely flattered that someone likes my stories, but I’m spurred on and encouraged to keep at it. So screw it, even if my uncle is the only person who reads these words, heck, even if NO ONE reads these words, I have to believe they hold significance and weight even as they stand alone on a page.

The tension is over. I am a writer. I am on a journey. I have lots to say.

No comments:

Post a Comment