Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Prick Me, Poke Me...

It might not sound all that relaxing to any of you, but lately my most peaceful times occur as I lay in a dark room, my body riddled with needles.

I have gone to an acupuncturist for years now, some seasons more regularly than others. More often than not people will go for a specific complaint; pain, or sleep issues, allergies or digestive stuff. Not me, I just feel like my body needs a little extra TLC so I go for what they’ve deemed “general wellness.” It could totally be all mental but I swear this stuff works, I always feel 1000 times better, lighter, more energized when I leave.
The place I go is a teaching clinic, which I love, but it also means the students I’m placed with are usually only around for so long. So I’ve been going on and off for the past few months and then 2 weeks ago I was placed with a new student and man oh man…what a gem!
The particular day that I saw her was not my best, I immediately broke into tears…I was physically and emotionally exhausted. Her response: 

“do you need a hug?” 
(those that know me,  know that I absolutely took her up on the offer).

ANYWAYS…she’s been so in tune and in touch with me and how to best care for me that today as she finished poking me with needles and left the room for me to rest I lay there thinking about her (yes, creepy!) but I was thinking about how, like my last post, there are people that blend what they do with who they are...people who are just sooo good at their job that it somehow rubs off on you and ends up making your day. It got me thinking, what can I do?  what career, job, hobby can I get into where people go…”gosh, that woman loves her job!”  Or “I can’t imagine her doing anything else!”

Lately that has been one of the biggest weights I carry…what the hell do I do with my life?!? And I have been so frustrated that I can’t figure out, I have been out of college for 2 years and still can’t commit to anything!

Maybe I’m too naïve or too picky…maybe I’m not disciplined enough or lack a willingness to sacrifice, but I can’t let go of this idea that I should LOVE what I do and that the love will seep out as I do it!

Ya yay a, I get that even if I believe in what I do and love it, there will still probably be elements where it is mundane and boring; just the daily grind. But I SO wanna be this student (Heather is her name!) I want people to walk away from me and smile. 

It’s no small question…as Mary Oliver would challenge:

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”

We get one…and yes, it is PRECIOUS. How do we (I) honor that? I guess that’s a question for my next needle sesh!

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