Tribute to Discomfort

"Tribute To Discomfort" those words popped off my facebook page more than any other thing on my newsfeed. It was an article that a friend had posted and under that title a picture of a man swimming in deep dark water...probably with sharks or something. I'll admit, I didn't actually read the article but I felt like I understood the direction it was going...the same thing counselors tell their patients, "step out of your comfort zone." The same thing media tells us..."try something new!" The same thing Asher Roth says in his song, "do somethin  crazy!" The same thing I've heard a lot in bible studies and listening to sermons, this idea of not getting complacent, of going into places and spaces that will be uncomfortable ('cause apparently thats when God shows up!)

And I'm not mad about this message...I think it's a pretty frickin good one. but I wondered if the picture beneath those words wasn't a man swimming with sharks but rather me. I almost laughed when I envisioned the article.."tribute to discomfort" and then a picture of me in my huge mariners jersey and tie-dye socks, sitting in an empty house, feet dangling off my bed, trying to figure out how the hell to get from now (8:30) to bedtime (AT LEAST 2 hours!) without completely crumbling...

Please tell me you've had those evenings when you literally have NOTHING to do? No one can hang out, nothing more needs to be done around the house, you  can't read another page...It got to the point where I'd do anything to be distracted;  15 games of solitaire, clean up my emails, text everyone in my contacts!!!  and then when I finally stopped and was still for half a second I realized how quiet it was (almost eerie). How alone I am. This is uncomfortable!!! and it's not the exciting uncomfortable where your adrenaline is pumping and you're scared but you're mostly more alive than ever! Its the uncomfortable that gnaws at your gut, that whispers mean things in your ear, that weighs you down like a backpack full of bricks.

It feels like a feat to get through 15 minute increments, to continue to press forward while still maintaining a sense of dignity and a sense of whats real. (It would be SOOO much easier to just call that guy and rekindle the flame. Just bein honest.)

So here's where I'm at:  if you're out climbin mountains, kayaking across large bodies of water, exploring new lands...power to ya! But if you're uncomfortable in the daily things; in the circumstances you've been placed in, in those 2 hours before bed that you don't know what to do with yourself...my heart goes out. My internal battle at home is as real as any roller coaster, flying lesson or dolphin swim...maybe even more so.

That is my tribute.